I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
