At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
