Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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