So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
