This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
