You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
