youre lurking in front of me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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