Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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