Only a mothe r could love this liver
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize