I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
