this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My ass is underappreciated
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
