had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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