Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
