Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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