dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
barbara walters just said penis...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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