Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
