If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
