so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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