whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
