I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
