listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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