She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
