The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
