Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
