I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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