Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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