She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
