Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
