like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
