4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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