so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize