dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
