He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
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Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
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Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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