Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
