Whod you bang
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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