you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
