I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
PANTIES FOUND
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