hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
