So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
