Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
