we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
