How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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