Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
