Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
