The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
