i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
