Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
