He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
