..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
