She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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