i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
