Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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