New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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