mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
