are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She bit a glass in half.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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