It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
