2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
