ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Do vagina's smell?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
