He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize