kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
