my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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