Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
