i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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