So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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