Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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