Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Someone shattered a urinal.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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