his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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