I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize